"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
