I never want to see another naked old woman again.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
