TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
