this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
