I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
