We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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