somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
