what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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