Screwed.edu
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
