have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
