so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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