On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Randomize
