if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
