So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I will pee on everything he values.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
