yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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