I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
