haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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