Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
