So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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