Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
