You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
one might say we're banned from that church
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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