Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
