the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
