matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
too bad you live with your parents still
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
