is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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