is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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