One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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