Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize