so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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