all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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