i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
