ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
