Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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