she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
