We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
