there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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