oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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