I didn't shave. On purpose
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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