Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
