Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
