redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
