I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize