is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
