Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
