I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Can I color on your dick again?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
