he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
