gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
