His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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