Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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