i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
