i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
