you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Randomize
