I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
