So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
