I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize