Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
