roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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