He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
